Thinking It Out Loud



*Warning:  adult language is sprinkled throughout.  In case you didn’t get that from the title.  Read on.  You have been warned.

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Lets talk friends.  BadAssery.  It isn’t even a word.  English teachers and purists keep reading.  Or not.  Your judgment can’t touch my BadAssery (that’s funny, not mean)

So basically, in my made up word, I just took BadAss from a noun, to a verb.  A verb is an action word right?  (Now my English teachers are loving this post)  So lets talk about this buzz word…bad ass.  How does one become a bad ass and better yet how do you practice BadAssery?

It’s not for the faint of heart.  It requires a certain amount of willingness to dream alone, think alone, and act alone.  But the real secret to practicing this ancient art?  Surround yourself with others that understand what BadAssery is about.  I want to make this PERFECTLY clear..being a bad ass isn’t about being alone nor is about being…well, an ass.

What does BadAssery Look like?

  1.  It is taking action.  The kind of action that sets the hair on everyone around you on fire but you feel like Buddha.  I am talking about the people around you jumping up and down and shouting “That is AMAZING” or “I can’t believe you DID that”.  Action + Peace=BadAssery.
  2. It is honest.  Being a bad ass doesn’t require a person to lie or hide.  In fact, it requires unrelenting truth and living in the wide open.  Letting one’s choices and the consequences come as they may.  There is Zero spin in this art form  Your actions speak for themselves.
  3. It is INCLUSIVE.  Now pay attention, this point is tricky.  Because so many times this is where a “bad ass-in training” gets this part wrong.  Being a real bad ass means you are working to make your vision, your dream, your goals possible.  And I have secret…are you ready?  You can’t get what you want by being EXCLUSIVE and treating others as if they don’t matter.  That will come back and bite you in the proverbial ass every time.  Zig Zigler, one of my favorite practioners of BadAssery, says it best:


4.  And last but not least…BadAssery is about being a champion.  A champion of self and others.  Now, I am not talking about saving others.  That’s Gods job.  Not ours.  I have had to learn that lesson the hard way over and over.  My friends from my single days can attest to this.  I swear, at one point in my dating life, I must have tried to save every “stray dog” that came around.  I learned the errors of my ways believe me!  (It is hard to believe I was every a doormat…and yet it is true.)

And now I will leave you with this song…when I am feeling like I gotta “get up to show up”…this is my go-to song.  I am NOT “America’s Sweetheart” of that you can be certain but I assure you I am down for supporting and cheering for each and every person that is working to build themselves and their lives in the image they only see in their dreams.  I believe in YOU and all that means.  You do NOT have to be the peacekeeper, the perfect person, the person that makes everyone else feel good.  I believe in the YOU wants to rise up and change the world.  That is BadAssery at its finest!

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Next Level Living

“If you want to live a happy life tie it to a goal, not to other people or objects”–Albert Einstein

What is next level living?  Is it only for people lucky enough to be what the world defines as super successful?  You know the ones I am talking about..the celebrities, the powerful, the rich.  The people that “turned up” or are living “life to the fullest” or whatever pithy phrase we say.  Myself included.  Lots of those people look like they are engaging in next level living and I am sure many are.  After all you don’t get to a certain level of fame or fortune without always growing and reaching.  But I happen to know that you are also surrounded by many people that are always in search of the next level of success.  Be it in the professional or personal life.  You might be one of those people!

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Breaking the Ties That Bind-Champion Thinking

Lets talk about Sugar Ray’s quote.  Arguably one of the greatest athletes that has ever lived and competed.  Born in 1921 his family moved from Georgia to New York to escape the deep south and all that meant for a young black man.  He began boxing as a young teen and at 19 had won the New York Golden Gloves championship and turned pro.  Never looking back, he went on to win fight after fight…at one point he had a 91 winning streak going.  91! Champion thinking at its finest.

91 times he stepped into the ring KNOWING that the other person was there to take him down.  I can tell you right now, without knowing a thing about boxing, that streak had 20% to do with his physical training and 80% to do with his MENTAL training.  He believed he had prepared for each fight to the best of his ability and he KNEW that he was there to win.  Despite the people cheering or booing, Sugar Ray Robinson stepped into the ring, EVERY TIME, to win.

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Sweat running all over my chest (chest) I don’t quit no!
I just press harder (Yea!) than I ever did before going for
The dreams that I have in store in my mind (mind) and I know
That i’m makin it I gotta get mine and nobody’s takin it away--MC HAMMER

Dreams!  Going for the gold, dream boards, the things we want and some of us dare to create. Dream killers. Dirty rotten scoundrels. They come in all forms. Family, friends…people “looking out for us”…but you know the worst offenders?  Ourselves!  The limits we place on ourselves and the language we use in our heads and out loud.  20 years ago I did a 4 day basic seminar through a company, PSI in Vegas.  This company is still around and is amazing, give it a google. That led to a 90 day, intensive small group, daily coaching, and 3 weekends type of course.  The focus of the 90 days was to make a goal in each area of our life.  Physical, spiritual, relationship, and career. And then live and act with intention every day in pursuit of those goals.  And guess what…the words hope, try, but, and can’t were 100% banned from our daily conversation.  Seriously.  I remember my roommate was like “whats wrong with the word hope…the world needs hope!”  At the time I agreed with her.

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Rules, Rules, Rules!

“Well behaved women rarely make history”–Pulitzer Prize winning historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.

Don’t we all have rules we live by?  And can’t we all agree that there are rules that keep, not just our lives running smoothly, but in fact the society’s in which we exist running pretty well?  Rules are our friends!  Right?  There are lots of them I like.  I personally love that we have rules to drive by, rules about hurting others, how to build houses that don’t fall down… in other words rules that make things work!  But what about all those rules we tell ourselves about HOW and WHY to live our lives?  Can you feel me?

We live in time of the world where lots and lots of rules are being questioned.  And yet I meet people, especially women, every day that are just running on auto pilot.  Heck, sometimes I even see her in the mirror.  We have a rule for how our hair “should” look.  The type of job we “should” have.  The kind of partner we are “supposed” to choose.  Or maybe its about the way we vote, or the things we are supposed to hold on to as important…because someone told us it was important.  How many of us actually think about why we think what we think? Or about the way we make decisions or the values we have?  I mean seriously…I am a curvy girl these days…I don’t own a horizontal stripe, I don’t try on horizontal stripes…because “I was told” (by whom, when and where I do not know…) that horizontal stripes on roundish types are not flattering.  So it became a RULE!  DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT BEAUTIFUL DRESS…IT HAS (gasp..the horror, the horror!) HORIZONTAL STRIPES!  Rules.  Strangling, stifling, and down right stupid sometimes.

Entrepreneurs are always thinking about the rules.  Whats working, whats not working.  Do we need to change that process?  Why?  Will it work better?  Who can fill that role better?  And so on.  One reason I love surrounding myself with people building their own business’s is because I constantly feel stretched.  I have realized that people that create business's don't just think outside of the box, they burn… Click To Tweet I mean lets be honest..raise your hand if some of the most successful people you know are just a little weird…a little different…and totally comfortable in their own skin.

So if you had to pick the rules you live by today that you thought were holding you back what would they be?  Is it about the job?  The location you live in?  The type of family you have?  I 100% believe that our very soul expands or contracts based on the rules we choose.  And guess what…the rules we had 10, 5, or even 1 year ago we may not need any more!  For me, the number 1 rule I had to stop living by was “My choices do NOT HAVE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY”.  Its been a bit of a detox believe me and there has definitely been some backsliding.  But recognizing and dropping the rule, for me, has opened up doors upon doors for me to fly through.

Rules really are made to broken or reevaluated or just plain let go.  That is growth.  And its been my personal experience that growth leads to a whole lot of happiness and freedom!

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From Good to Great


Do you have thoughts about starting something new in your life….a new career, a new look, a new way to relate, etc….but the start never happens? Or are you comfortable with just “good” and afraid to do something “great”?

Letting go of good isn't because the good is bad for us, but rather we need to let go of good to… Click To Tweet

This is my 3rd blog post writing and I am already quoting myself!  Man, that is some ego on me, right?  Maybe.  Probably not.  I hope not!

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