Thinking It Out Loud



*Warning:  adult language is sprinkled throughout.  In case you didn’t get that from the title.  Read on.  You have been warned.

My favorite author

Lets talk friends.  BadAssery.  It isn’t even a word.  English teachers and purists keep reading.  Or not.  Your judgment can’t touch my BadAssery (that’s funny, not mean)

So basically, in my made up word, I just took BadAss from a noun, to a verb.  A verb is an action word right?  (Now my English teachers are loving this post)  So lets talk about this buzz word…bad ass.  How does one become a bad ass and better yet how do you practice BadAssery?

It’s not for the faint of heart.  It requires a certain amount of willingness to dream alone, think alone, and act alone.  But the real secret to practicing this ancient art?  Surround yourself with others that understand what BadAssery is about.  I want to make this PERFECTLY clear..being a bad ass isn’t about being alone nor is about being…well, an ass.

What does BadAssery Look like?

  1.  It is taking action.  The kind of action that sets the hair on everyone around you on fire but you feel like Buddha.  I am talking about the people around you jumping up and down and shouting “That is AMAZING” or “I can’t believe you DID that”.  Action + Peace=BadAssery.
  2. It is honest.  Being a bad ass doesn’t require a person to lie or hide.  In fact, it requires unrelenting truth and living in the wide open.  Letting one’s choices and the consequences come as they may.  There is Zero spin in this art form  Your actions speak for themselves.
  3. It is INCLUSIVE.  Now pay attention, this point is tricky.  Because so many times this is where a “bad ass-in training” gets this part wrong.  Being a real bad ass means you are working to make your vision, your dream, your goals possible.  And I have secret…are you ready?  You can’t get what you want by being EXCLUSIVE and treating others as if they don’t matter.  That will come back and bite you in the proverbial ass every time.  Zig Zigler, one of my favorite practioners of BadAssery, says it best:


4.  And last but not least…BadAssery is about being a champion.  A champion of self and others.  Now, I am not talking about saving others.  That’s Gods job.  Not ours.  I have had to learn that lesson the hard way over and over.  My friends from my single days can attest to this.  I swear, at one point in my dating life, I must have tried to save every “stray dog” that came around.  I learned the errors of my ways believe me!  (It is hard to believe I was every a doormat…and yet it is true.)

And now I will leave you with this song…when I am feeling like I gotta “get up to show up”…this is my go-to song.  I am NOT “America’s Sweetheart” of that you can be certain but I assure you I am down for supporting and cheering for each and every person that is working to build themselves and their lives in the image they only see in their dreams.  I believe in YOU and all that means.  You do NOT have to be the peacekeeper, the perfect person, the person that makes everyone else feel good.  I believe in the YOU wants to rise up and change the world.  That is BadAssery at its finest!

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Next Level Living

“If you want to live a happy life tie it to a goal, not to other people or objects”–Albert Einstein

What is next level living?  Is it only for people lucky enough to be what the world defines as super successful?  You know the ones I am talking about..the celebrities, the powerful, the rich.  The people that “turned up” or are living “life to the fullest” or whatever pithy phrase we say.  Myself included.  Lots of those people look like they are engaging in next level living and I am sure many are.  After all you don’t get to a certain level of fame or fortune without always growing and reaching.  But I happen to know that you are also surrounded by many people that are always in search of the next level of success.  Be it in the professional or personal life.  You might be one of those people!

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Breaking the Ties That Bind-Champion Thinking

Lets talk about Sugar Ray’s quote.  Arguably one of the greatest athletes that has ever lived and competed.  Born in 1921 his family moved from Georgia to New York to escape the deep south and all that meant for a young black man.  He began boxing as a young teen and at 19 had won the New York Golden Gloves championship and turned pro.  Never looking back, he went on to win fight after fight…at one point he had a 91 winning streak going.  91! Champion thinking at its finest.

91 times he stepped into the ring KNOWING that the other person was there to take him down.  I can tell you right now, without knowing a thing about boxing, that streak had 20% to do with his physical training and 80% to do with his MENTAL training.  He believed he had prepared for each fight to the best of his ability and he KNEW that he was there to win.  Despite the people cheering or booing, Sugar Ray Robinson stepped into the ring, EVERY TIME, to win.

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Breaking the Ties That Bind-Part 1


It’s the action, not the fruit of the action, that’s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there will be any fruit. But that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.

– Mahatma Gandhi

A quick moment about the SWAG picture attached to this post…I just love it.  It’s a cute version of “yeah, I know what the world says…and I don’t give a flip.  Get over it.  I am me and I rock.”  I LOVE this picture.  Could be because I am little chubby and I got SWAG like crazy…at least some days.  Working on swag on all my days!


We come into this world with our very unique DNA.  It’s like a 1 in 4 trillion chance that each of us is…..well, us.  Did you know that?  Think about that.  There are only 7 billion people alive in the world.  So if its 1 in 4 trillion that you are even you, as you are right at the moment of conception, do you think you might have some unique ideas?  About how to make something better?  How to do or create a new type of career?  Or how to problem solve from a unique perspective?   Yes, YOU have the power.  Those thoughts or ideas that you have dismissed as “not doable”…well, guess are wrong.  If you have the power to conceive it then you have the power to ACHIEVE it.

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The Ties That Bind


I got a whole Matrix theme going on for this weeks post.  Something about the place I am in life and feeling more alive and awake than I have in years has called up this movie for me.  It’s not even one of my favorites.  Actually, I am not certain I have seen the whole thing to be honest.  Nevertheless I feel like I am having a Matrix moment.  Like I just realized…the things I am doing now, and the freedom and fun I am having…well, I could have been doing those things all along.  But as Morpheus says…I wasn’t ready to be unplugged.  Are you?

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Sweat running all over my chest (chest) I don’t quit no!
I just press harder (Yea!) than I ever did before going for
The dreams that I have in store in my mind (mind) and I know
That i’m makin it I gotta get mine and nobody’s takin it away--MC HAMMER

Dreams!  Going for the gold, dream boards, the things we want and some of us dare to create. Dream killers. Dirty rotten scoundrels. They come in all forms. Family, friends…people “looking out for us”…but you know the worst offenders?  Ourselves!  The limits we place on ourselves and the language we use in our heads and out loud.  20 years ago I did a 4 day basic seminar through a company, PSI in Vegas.  This company is still around and is amazing, give it a google. That led to a 90 day, intensive small group, daily coaching, and 3 weekends type of course.  The focus of the 90 days was to make a goal in each area of our life.  Physical, spiritual, relationship, and career. And then live and act with intention every day in pursuit of those goals.  And guess what…the words hope, try, but, and can’t were 100% banned from our daily conversation.  Seriously.  I remember my roommate was like “whats wrong with the word hope…the world needs hope!”  At the time I agreed with her.

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Say What?


“I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold

Do you every find yourself wondering, as you leave your house in the morning, headed to drop the kids off to school or to work or to run errands…if everyone can see that the first hour of your morning was complete and utter chaos?  I mean, how can they not see it on your face right?  Or at least notice that  you are wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe maybe?  Or that you put only one earring one.  One really BIG, bright, silver earring.  But no one ever says “Hey, looks like you took a ride to crazy town this morning” so I am sure I must be wrong.  And since I never say to people “oh hey Kim, you look a little nuts today, must have been a rough morning” I think there can only be two possible answers as to why this “not seeing the crazy” is as American as apple pie…allow me to explain.

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Money Honey!


“Money can’t buy happiness, but neither can poverty”.  -Leo Rosten


Lets talk friends.  Get real, down and dirty, lay it all out.  I am just going to say it…there are a lot of us that really stink at money.  Making it and keeping it.  This post is about keeping it! If you are one of those responsible types that actually has bank accounts with a positive balance consistently, almost no credit card debt, and are on target to actually retire one day…I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU!  Got it?  Scram.  Go on…. get out of here, this post isn’t for you.  There are some lovely posts located elsewhere in my blog if I do say so myself.  We can talk next week.

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Swim Lessons

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”–Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you remember hearing “sometimes you just gotta jump” or “look before you leap”?   This blog is more of the jumping kind.

I think this used to be called a mid-life crisis!  But not here, not on Thinkingitoutloud.  Here, we are calling it …well, whatever you want to call it frankly.   For me, its the “hold on, have I arrived?” moment.  Because I keep wondering if this is it?  Am I fulfilling my purpose, is this all I have to offer?  Did I miss it?  While I was growing children into basically semi productive, almost not obnoxious teenagers, working, tending to a marriage, going through the ups and downs of 25 years of adulthood…did I miss the thing that I was meant to do? 

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