Start. Go Forward
Stop. Go Backwards.
Start. Wonder how to do more than Start.
Stop. Take a nap. Get on your phone.
Start. Go Forward
Stop. Go Backwards.
Start. Wonder how to do more than Start.
Stop. Take a nap. Get on your phone.
Here I am…literally in what the world says is the middle of my life. Middle age(d). Sounds so blah right? Boring maybe? And don’t get me wrong because there are moments, days even where I feel like this….
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
― C.S. Lewis,
So….. who is your daddy? Your daddy being the predominant belief system you view life through. Where do you stand? In happiness or sadness? What do your thoughts tell you about the world around you? Are we going to hell in a hand basket or are we on our way to the greatest part of humanity? The people in your life: Are those people lifting you up or tearing your down? Do you think you are shaping your life or is your life shaping you? When your car breaks down is it just life and you roll on or is the universe proving that once again, you just can’t get ahead?
Perception is where facts and feelings meet. The road that bridges the heart and the brain so to speak. I am ruled heavily by my heart. I believe in my gut and I believe that overall life is pretty great and that people want to do whats best for themselves and others. Before you say it…my own mother tells me I am a Pollyanna. Not sure know what that is?
Pollyanna: someone who thinks good things will always happen and finds something good in everything. Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary.
Totally sounds disgusting doesn’t it? When I read the definition I rolled my eyes at myself. Here is the flip side of that perception I live in. Anger, sadness, hurt, and downright tragedy are truly hard for me to process. For myself. I have this innate manner that demands I push through those feelings as fast as I can so I can be happy again. That sounds good right? But what if, like the movie “Inside Out”, my refusal to go through all the “bad things” is holding me back? Can you relate? Perception. Where our insides show themselves really.
I have been thinking a lot about perception during this election season. *Side note…regardless of who we all voted for, aren’t we all SOOOOO glad it is over. I couldn’t take another advertisement demanding that MY perception of either candidate fall in line with the mostly emotional hogwash the other was painting their opponent as. Because lets be clear…if the two mainstream candidates where, in fact, as bad as the other said….whoa. Which brings me back to perception.
Right now, in the United States, the transfer of the highest office has begun. Teams and policies are being crafted. But NO power has actually changed hands. It won’t until January 20th of 2017. And all around me I have friends that have already perceived and accepted as fact what they believe will happen as a result of this presidency. Some are certain that we are headed towards a white supremacy nation, homosexual hating, unequal rights, nation with the worst corruption in our history. Some believe that our ship is about to be put back on course with opportunities for jobs and industries exploding and our country once again becoming self sufficient. And the only thing those two camps of thought have in common?
Donald Trump won the presidency of the United States.
Yep, one thing. And now two completely, not even in the same solar system, schools of “thought”. That leaves no room for the others view. In case you don’t already know this…that is a lose/lose situation. By the way, I seem to be related to both camps. And I thank God for that very fact. Because hearing both views gives me better insight to the world around me. And that is always a good thing. Always.
So what can we do to expand our perceptions? This doesn’t mean giving up on what your believe or your world view. I have not intention of being any less of a Pollyanna. But I can become a stronger person, wife, mother, business owner, friend, daughter, and individual by doing a few things:
I am truly grateful for the experiences and people in my life that constantly expose me and open me to new view points. I come at life from a positive place. I just do. I understand that I have the benefit of being born into a family that has loved me from day 1 and when you know you are loved you can move mountains. So my final piece of advice today…if you are reading this right now and thinking to yourself “my life sucks” find a way, any way, to make someone else’s day better and brighter. Because being loved is great, but bringing the love changes the world.
Q&A with Stacy Busch-Heisserer. Wife, business owner, mother, daughter. Published author. And all around dog and cat expert. Owner of Busch Pet Products, Deer Creek Doggie Day Care, and Howies Harvest, a pet food pantry.
I have been happily married and almost divorced all in the same day. Anyone else? The above picture is me and my man. Can you imagine that this pic kinda sums us up?
16 years, 2 kids, the loss of 2 parents and a brother, no less than 11 moves and 3 states we are still standing. Some days its amazing and other days I literally think “what the hell”. I have said to my mom: “no one told me the truth about being married.” Her response: “well, everyone wants grandchildren. The truth about marriage could stop that in its tracks.” She thought that was really funny! My parents have been married 50+ years by the way.
So what is the truth about marriage? That it is great? That it is about love? That it is about doing life with the other person? Having an instant “ride or die” partner? Is the truth that it is hard work? That it can be heart breaking? That it can also be numbing? I can only speak for my own marriage. So I answer yes. Yes, it is all of those things. Am I the only one?
Marriage, kids, sex. Right? Maybe I have that in the wrong order. But as a society we put a lot of value on those 3 things. Those 3 things, when done right, are supposed to be everything. And sometimes they are. But what about when they aren’t? I mean lets be real here. I know for a fact that having children bonded my husband and I in a way that is, well sacred really. I also know that those same children have, at times, driven a wedge in between us in our marriage that can feel suffocating. It isn’t because of the people that they are…its because of the time they need and consume.
You want to talk Now???? I am in the shower! (side note…remember when being in the shower was like an invitation to “adult time”) Now I am all OMG, can’t I get 5 minutes to myself!!!
If you touch my boob on more time I might punch you.
What do you mean you can’t get back in time to get the kids from school?
I have a meeting. Dinner? What is for dinner? How about what ever you fix yourself?(and then stomp off in a huff…the message being clear…MY time is more valuable than YOUR time)
Doesn’t married life sound grand in my house? But here is the thing…it kinda is.
It has taken us 16 years, some therapy, self and marriage to get here. I have friends and family that have wondered how we stuck it out, let alone are working on real happiness. What if we had given up in year 5? I thought about it. Long and hard. I revisited that thought 2 years ago. Fights, no communication, and resentment.
And you know what I did? I got honest. With myself and my husband. We went to therapy. It wasn’t a miracle. But it did show us both something that we needed to see. We both want to stay married. To each other. To raise our family, enjoy the fruits of that labor, and learn how to love one another better. It isn’t a fairy tale. Some people DO get the fairy tale. Did you know that? And wondered, if it wasn't you, why them? Click To Tweet I used to. But you know what? This is my marriage, my life, my house, my kids, my future. I now know that just means, like everything else, its an extension of my personality, my core.
I remember reading about the Duggar family and how they stayed so focused on being a couple. One of the things the wife gave as advice: when your mate is speaking, gaze adoringly at them as if they are saying the most important thing in the world.
My response? “WHAT IF THEY ARE SAYING SOMETHING STUPID”?
Yep, that is what being married in my house is like. Right or wrong, we are an up and down couple. But i have come to see the beauty in staying committed to working out the roller coaster. Sometimes we still go backwards but thankfully those backwards steps seem to put us in position to grow and go flying forwards past the previous all time best. Does that make sense?
Life is messy. Being married is messy. Being a business owner is messy. And you know what? I LOVE it. Even when I don’t like it. I LOVE it. I want this blog to be about the “realness” of life. I only have my life to dive into.
But if you are a married person I can 100% say that regardless of where you go with your marriage the only way to get there is to be honest with yourself and your mate. Staying married isn’t whats best for everybody. And you don’t ever know what the future holds, you only have this moment. But like everything else I am committed to, I believe that self work and a willingness to break out of the box can only lead you to the life of your dreams. If you don’t have a dream marriage, go build it. You are worth the work it takes to have a long, loving, relationship with a partner that wants nothing more than the same thing. Happiness and all that it takes to get there.
Q&A with Carisa Stark. Carisa is the owner/operator of MaryJane Burgers and Brews and Jackson Street BrewCo in Perryville, MO. Perryville is a small town approximately 70 miles south of St. Louis. Known primarily as a small farming community, MaryJane Burgers and Brew has put Perryville on the foodie and libertine map.
“Mary Jane was created to display our passion for fresh, local ingredients prepared into stunning dishes and paired with amazingly delicious craft beer. We pride ourselves by using only the freshest ingredients. We buy local when possible to support our small town economy. Our burgers are prepared fresh daily using Midwest-raised cattle, no GMOs, no antibiotics and are accompanied with fresh-baked buns.”
Typical pub fare with a flair..everything from street tacos, in house salsa, to burgers with everything AND the kitchen sink…all in a cool vibe with functioning garage doors that open the restaurant up to let the outside in. Beer club, a changing bar menu, and an on site party suite make this small town gem a destination for weddings, reunions, and a local watering hole. With the addition of her own brewery, Jackson BrewCo, and the rotating 20 taps, MaryJanes is a great place to indulge and enjoy the day or evening with friends.
Q&A with Autumn Masterson Pettit. Owner of Private Correctional Services. PCS works with non violent offenders through the court system and monitors drug and alcohol abuse through drug tests and breathalyzers, ankle bracelets for house arrest’s, and provides contracted probation services to the courts.
Basically Autumn is a bad ass with dimples and a soft spoken manner. Some might say a pretty version of Dog the Bounty Hunter. I just call her my friend. Autumn is a vegetarian, animal lover (ALL kinds) and wife and mother as well as business owner.
When I was in college I had an interest in law enforcement. Unfortunately, that career path required weekend and night work. I waited tables through college and was keenly aware that night, private events, and holidays was something I didn’t want to work on. So, I opted for corrections. I started my first job in the field at a private agency in 2007 and worked there for two years before being hired on with the Board of Probation and Parole in Caruthersville, MO. In 2007, an opportunity became available to bid on the contract for the private agency that I once worked for. I decided to create a bid and relay how I felt a probation office should be ran. I was awarded the bid in 2007.
Q&A with Dr. Monique Carlisle Johnson, owner of MCJ Consulting. Based in the Cincinnati area, Monique works with schools and organizations and individuals who are ready to improve, grow, and change in ways that make a difference in the world. MJC Consulting is especially committed to full customized counsel, guidance, and support to educational organizations focused on student success.
Among other achievements Monique has her doctorate in Counselor Education with a focus in Higher Education Administration and a minor in Human Resource Development for Trainers, The Pennsylvania State University.
*Editors privilege: When you meet Monique you can’t help but know that she is committed to what her role is. I love to give this example of how she and her family live. She and I were GS leaders together on an overnight camp out. Camping is NOT Monique’s thing. When she told her husband that “camping is for the birds” his response sums up their family mantra: “So be a bird then”. And you know what…she was a bird. She cooked out, hiked, and sang songs like her entire heart was in it. Because that is who she is. Committed to the role she is in and gets the job done.
Over the past year, I began studying entrepreneurship and had an inspiring encounter with a retired Principal who inspired me to own it. MCJ Consulting was born in June of 2016.
Yes, I know that picture I chose is huge. Its a little in your face…and that is the point.
Did you know that right now, based on a title that includes the words “female” and “ambition” there are people that just said, nope. Not gonna read it. Why? Somewhere in our psyche we have this crazy notion that women + ambition= bitch. Click To Tweet So I guess that must be me. Cause I am definitely a women with ambition. Ambition to be kind, funny, charitable, financially wealthy, a life of time freedom choices, and an ambition to be in the public eye. There I said it…now you know I want to be a YouTube star..except I am about 20 years to old for that I think. Maybe I can get the daughters…kidding!
“The outcome is not up to you. The outlook is.”
― Germany Kent
Quick! Write down the last 3 opportunities that came your way. I mean it. Don’t over think it. What were they? An unexpected night out to relax? A new career path? Maybe something in the form of a new relationship. How did you respond? Did you think it over carefully or just answer? More importantly…did you say yes? Have you ever given any thought to what a day would look like if you said “YES” to every opportunity that came your way?