Thinking It Out Loud

Lessons From the Middle


Here I am…literally in what the world says is the middle of my life.  Middle age(d).  Sounds so blah right?  Boring maybe?  And don’t get me wrong because there are moments, days even where I feel like this….


But mostly I really feel like this….


and yep…that is actually me!  Give me some chips, salsa, ice cream, and a sombrero and I feel excited!  I may or may not have been dropped on my head as a baby…my mom isn’t talking.  Or I may have just realized, here in the middle that we are ALWAYS in the middle so I might as well make my own salsa of life extra spicy!  (See, what I did there?)  Come on, keep reading…the good stuff is next!  No more lame jokes!


  1.  The people around you are a reflection of you.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  You will notice, as you work on yourself, that the parts you want to minimize or eradicate..will mean that those people that were attracted to those parts..begin to fade away.  Don’t chase them.
  2.   If you don’t have a vision for yourself and OF yourself…guess what?  No one else does either or worse…other people visions take over your life.  A mentor of mine has taught me this fact.  Live your current lift as if it is your VISION.  Be that person.  Make decisions like that person.  Dress like that person.  Get it?  Good!
  3. Laugh every day and go out of your way to bring a smile to someone else.  I know that is cheesy but let me explain…giving to others even as simply as bringing a smile is its own kind of ripple.  We do not know where that spark will go or what fire it will light.  Bring the spark.
  4. Speak your mind.  Do it with respect, but speak your mind.  Do NOT be the woman that shuts her mouth to smooth things over.  Also, do NOT be the woman that is a raging bitch.  No one likes Or listens to that person.
  5. Stop complaining!  I am serious…stop right now!  Complaining is just a life sucker.  The biggest ego thinks no one has been through what they are going through.  Be the miracle.  Change the energy to positive where you go.  When you walk into a room that feels dark, dreary, lifeless…turn it up and let the dogs out!  (Who let the dogs out…who, who…ok, that’s a lame reference..but you get my drift.)
  6. Decide your own path.  Have the courage to step out and do what YOU want to do…because here is the deal.  What YOU want to do isn’t being selfish or self centered…it is being true to your soul.  Obviously I am not talking about truly selfish acts.  But stop buying the worlds request that you shut up and play along.  Play YOUR game.  Run a business, Love or don’t love.  Sleep all day and work at night.  Whatever!  We get this one life, this one moment.  Past and future literally do NOT exist.  Not one person that ever had time for death bed reflection thought “I wish I had done what others wanted me to do more”.
  7. Learn to purposefully reach for new thoughts and new ideas.  Have conversations with people that think differently than you!   *Please note I said conversation…NOT argument!
  8. If you are a parent..and your kids are older than 8…their choices are NOT a reflection of you.  Good or bad.  I am learning this daily.  Kids grow up.  They make choices.  Some you never, not one time, even considered could be a choice they would make.  You didn’t do or not do something that could have made the choice better most likely.  The only cure?  Stay close to your kids.  Talk WITH your kids.  Let them express their real thoughts and desires…as scary as it can be sometimes.  Because, then, when they do or say something that could be totally shocking…you have a relationship that allows for conversation or better yet…you totally understand how that choice got made!
  9. Trust your gut.  Check in with it.  If you have a funny feeling but don’t know why…trust what the gut is telling you.  If you have a bad vibe about a person that EVERYONE likes…trust it.  If a job looks GREAT on paper..but you just don’t feel it…trust the gut.  When your gut says it is your time in the sun, even though it still feels like you are sitting in the shade, rise up. Click To Tweet Take the actions necessary to get to the sunlight.
  10. Ask for help.  Let people in.  Don’t be dumb about it.  Be wise.  The right people, that deserve all of us, earn the right.  Give them the time to earn it, but when it comes time to open that last door…do it with your heart wide open.  Science has proven that happiness and human connection are directly tied together.



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